When it comes to planning your wedding day, one of the biggest decisions couples face is whether or not to do a first look. Some swear by it, saying it’s one of the most emotional, unforgettable moments of their wedding. Others prefer to keep things traditional and see each other for the first time at the ceremony.
So how do you decide what’s right for you? Let’s explore the pros, cons, and creative alternatives to help you make the best choice for your big day.
What Is a First Look?
A first look is a private moment before the ceremony where the couple sees each other for the first time on their wedding day. Typically captured by your photographer and videographer, it’s a planned, intimate reveal, often followed by portraits and some quiet moments together before the festivities begin.
For many couples, the first look helps calm nerves and allows them to share an emotional, unhurried moment before the whirlwind of the ceremony and reception.
The Pros of Doing a First Look
1. You Get a Private, Emotional Moment Together
A wedding day moves fast, sometimes so fast that couples barely get a chance to be alone. A first look gives you a private space to take it all in together. You can hug, cry, laugh, and soak up the emotions without hundreds of eyes watching.
Many couples say the first look ended up being one of their favorite parts of the day because it was real, raw, and just about them.
2. You’ll Have More Time for Photos
Doing a first look means you can take most of your portraits (both couple and wedding party) before the ceremony. This frees up time afterward so you can actually enjoy cocktail hour with your guests instead of spending it posing for photos.
Your photographer will also appreciate having more flexibility with lighting and time, especially if your ceremony is in the late afternoon or evening.
3. It Helps Calm Pre-Ceremony Nerves
If you or your partner tend to get anxious or emotional before big moments, a first look can help relieve that pressure. Seeing your partner before walking down the aisle can bring comfort and ease, helping you feel grounded and ready to fully enjoy the ceremony.
Many couples feel that once they’ve seen each other, the rest of the day flows more naturally and joyfully.
4. You’ll Have More Candid, Intimate Reactions
During the ceremony, emotions are high, but nerves and formality can make reactions more reserved. With a first look, you’re free to react however you want: laugh, cry, jump up and down, or just hold each other.
You get a genuine, unfiltered reaction that’s beautifully captured on camera.
The Cons of Doing a First Look
1. It Breaks Tradition
For many couples, the idea of seeing each other for the first time at the altar is deeply meaningful. That “ceremony reveal,” the gasp, the tears, the reaction from guests, is something some dream about their whole lives.
Doing a first look changes that experience. If you’ve always envisioned locking eyes as you walk down the aisle, you might feel that something’s missing.
2. It Requires Adjusting the Timeline
Doing a first look means starting hair, makeup, and dressing much earlier. You’ll need to schedule extra time before the ceremony for the reveal and portraits.
If you’re having an outdoor wedding, this can also affect lighting, especially during warm months when early afternoon light is harsher. Your coordinator and photographer can help you plan around this, but it’s an important consideration.
3. You Might Lose Some of the Anticipation
Part of the excitement of the wedding day comes from the build-up, the butterflies before seeing each other for the first time. A first look removes that element of surprise, so some couples prefer to save that magical moment for the aisle.
Alternatives to the Traditional First Look
If you love the idea of a first look but still want to preserve some tradition, there are creative ways to balance both.
1. The “First Touch”
This is a popular option for couples who want to connect before the ceremony without actually seeing each other. You can stand on opposite sides of a door or wall, hold hands, pray, or exchange a few words. It’s emotional and meaningful without spoiling the big reveal.
2. Private Vow Exchange
Some couples choose to read personal vows to each other before the ceremony, either during a first look or with a “first touch.” It allows you to express your feelings privately without sharing your most emotional words in front of everyone.
3. First Look with a Parent or Bridal Party
If you want to save the first look with your partner for the ceremony, consider doing one with a parent, sibling, or your wedding party. The reactions are often heartfelt and make for some of the sweetest photos of the day.
4. Ceremony-Only Reveal with a Twist
You can still have a “traditional” first look but make the ceremony reveal extra special. For example, have your officiant or musician cue a unique moment, or incorporate a slow aisle walk that builds anticipation.
How to Decide What’s Right for You
There’s no “one-size-fits-all” answer. The right choice depends on your personalities, timeline, and priorities for the day.
Ask yourselves:
Your wedding coordinator and photographer can walk you through both scenarios and help you design a timeline that fits your vision
Final Thoughts
Whether you choose to do a first look or wait for the ceremony, what matters most is that the moment feels authentic to you.
If a first look feels like the perfect way to share excitement and calm your nerves before the ceremony, go for it. If you’ve always dreamed of that aisle reveal and want to keep the tradition alive, honor that.
There’s no wrong choice. Just two people, one unforgettable moment, and a lifetime ahead.